Deep beets, part 1

Kristy: beat in my trunk beat beat beat in my trunk

me: mmmmhm
like beep beep
beat beat
3:19 PM Kristy: i’ll take the BEETS
me: i also need to start working with beets
what do you do with your beets gra?
Kristy: beet salad
goat cheese
hearts of palm
3:20 PM me: how do you cook the beets?
Kristy: BEETS
gra i buy the ready-to-go baby beets in the ming’s produce section
less MESSY
3:21 PM me: whoa
are they frozen?
i’m confused
beets are a new world to me
3:22 PM Kristy: no gra
they are fresh
but all the ‘wrappings’ have been removed
me: wow.
Kristy: they are in the refrigerators
usually on the top
3:23 PM in some type of shrink wrap
me: how big are they?
how big is a baby?
Kristy: like how the guacamole is packaged
a baby is… maybe the size of a red potato
and you get a few
me: mmhm
how would i cook up a beet if i just bought a big granddad one at the paycheck?
boil it?
Kristy: they have been steamed and peeled
steam it
me: wow. luxury.
3:24 PM Kristy: it is MESSY gra
me: i will look to mark bittman for advice on this
Kristy: watch out
it will stain all your shit
me: i’m sure he’s got something to say about a BEET
i will make organic lipstick
(no i won’t.)

to be continued…


  1. I roast my beets. Wrap them in foil, roast for 45 minutes or so, and then peel them into the sink when they cool down a little. I haven’t stained anything yet.

  2. YES! I realized soon after posting that I made myself come off like a sad little dunce (though that’s true) for a) never having made beets before, b) not mentioning that I did actually steam/roast some beets all by myself (I foil ’em up wet, so they steam away in their pockets), and that c) part 2 will reveal what I did with them.

  3. Disregarding the boil vs. roast debate (I am on the fence about this issue), I feel I should add that beet stains, well…they add character. I was sad to see the purple splotch finally disappear from my wooden cutting board recently, in fond memory of a dinner long gone by, wherein our mutual friend M. Andrews grated and steamed some beets in water and balsamic vinegar, stove-top style, with tin foil resting over a sautee pan. Earthy delight.

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